Inglourious Basterds

The newest film from my favorite writer/director, Quentin Tarintino, maker of Pulp Fiction, one of my favorite movies of all time (and if you dare to say it was bad, my God have mercy on your soul). Now, this movie seemed like so many different things from the trailers, with elements of all of Tarintino's movies, but does it match up with his other work? Was it any good at all? The short answer: It was a masterpiece.
Now reviews have been mixed to positive about the movie so far, and I disagree with most of the critics, even if they did like it. Some said it was offensive, though Tarintino tends to put dark humor that borders on parody in many of his films like Kill Bill and Death Proof, however when the holocaust gets involved, people think he is being offensive to Jews...and nazis. Others said it was a gore fest, that served no other purpose apart from entertaining the people who watch movies like Saw and Rob Zombie's Halloween (you bastards know who you are). Others enjoyed it as a fun action ride, that kicks ass, and leaves no prisoners. This is also not the case. Violence serves the story (hell, no one complained about Saving Private Ryan being too violent), and it is used for character development. (Don't let Eli Roth fool you. This has nothing to do with Hostel). What I thought was this movie made jokes and used dark humor that should not be taken seriously, but this movie does have a lot of interesting things that should be taken seriously; a revenge story, a character study, a soldier trying to get a woman to love him. Its almost like Kevin Smith films in that, they tend to be overlooked because of the jokes put in there, but there tends to be a point (well, except for Clerks, but that was just funny[Weren't we talking about Tarintino?{how many parenthesize can I have for one statement?}]).
Now I promise no spoilers shall be said. But know this; this is possibly the best movie of the year so far. Tarintino says he had been working on it, before even thinking about Kill Bill, and that work paid off. I applaud you, sir. Right then, praise out of the way, lets talk about how awesome the story is.
STORY
We are giving a classic Tarintino opening, with one long scene filled with dialogue that would cause small children, Mothers Against Violence, and fans of Michael Bay films, to have instant mind implosions from not comprehending the amazingness of Tarintino dialogue (apologies to small children. That was a generalization. I’m sorry). The first ten minutes of this movie are almost as good as the last twenty minutes of Kill Bill (which was possibly the best thing Tarintino has created[R.I.P. David Carradine. We miss you]). Also like Kill Bill, this story is separated into chapters, so it has different stories; Not in a Pulp Fiction way, there are just a lot of characters spread throughout the film (not just about the basterds).
This movie also has the clear Tarintino style throughout (kill Bill style that is). A lot of the violence is exaggerated, it is difficult to tell when he’s actually going for a joke, and some things (like a sudden guitar riff with big yellow letters) are very random and seem out of place. But of course, Tarintino scores the most points for endless scenes of dialogue. There are two scenes in the movie that are about 10-20 minutes apiece, and they show the genius writing, have some amazing acting, and never get boring.
What is very funny about this movie is how it uses parodies and cliches of groups of people (ironically enough, it uses cliches to be original). Many of the Germans are looked at as monsters (with the exception of 1 or 2), and of course, The American military is seen as a bunch of war-hungry soldiers who are somewhat psychotic, and want to kill things because "they ain't got no humanity, and have to be destroyed"....you hear that Micheal Bay? The military is not the best thing in the world. The military kills people. 40% of people in the military have mental conditions. And get this blasphemy: violence doesn't solve all problems! (at this point I am cut off by the sound of gunfire).
So we have several stories, but again, its not something that is tossed around in non-sequential order, and it works wonderfully. Whats even more amazing is all the footage Tarintino didn’t use for this movie and all the things that were cut out (but this is what happens when you just keep writing a movie for 10 years). So much great dialogue, so much great character development, and so much stuff I can’t tell you about and you must witness for yourself.

And now, an intermission for poetry by Ian Deming. Enjoy.

Boy stands before judgment, and awaits fate
One True answer. No question. No debate.
His head is filled with dreams of salvation
His mind makes him travel to his own creation
Thoughts of the near future; eternal love
Happiness, and awe; a world to be proud of
Pretty butterflies, flowers, clouds, and sun
All thoughts to prepare for all his good fun
Boy walks to judge, to be given the path
Embrace his reward, or accept God’s wrath
Judge pierces Boy, with his cold leering eyes
And with his sharp quick words, the Boy’s dream dies
Hope is shattered; happiness shrinks away
His bright future burns, and all turns to grey
The life in his dreams were stabbed, cut and torn
Clouds turned to crack, flowers to bondage porn
All things just, were killed and thoroughly raped
The Boy was destroyed, his mind now reshaped
And so from this story, we all can see
That the boy is me
(movie guy asked for ID)

…..Now you understand why. Moving right along.
CHARACTERS
Brad Pitt as Lt. Aldo Raine- Pitt gives a fun, entertaining performance as the uber-American Lt. who wants to kill him some Nazis- yes, the poem was fucked up. We are focused on the characters now, I promise. Now lets move along. Its not a subtle performance, but its not a subtle character (so it works). Although he is very simple, he is not bland at all, and keeps the audience in their seats. Tarintino also makes the smart move of making Pitt the main character solely for the purpose of tying together stories, and having someone amusing in charge. Pitt does not have the most screen time, and doesn’t even show up until 20 minutes into the movie, but as a result, we never get bored of this simple character.
Christoph Waltz as Col. Hans Landa- Who the hell is this guy?! Waltz, an actor who is completely unknown (by Americans at least) gives the best performance I have seen this year, and deserves an Academy Award nomination for Best Actor. Waltz plays Col. Hans “the Jew Hunter” Landa, a slightly crazed, jew-hating, power-hungry, nazi. This is the most developed character, most interesting, and has the most screen time (which is why I suggest he be nominated for best actor instead of best supporting). He is more than the evil nazi who just hates Jews without reason (well actually, he has a monologue about how he and many people hate the Jews without reason, but you understand the point I’m making). He is human. His actions to each character he interacts with is different, and as he becomes more desperate, he shows it. And his performance in the opening 10 minute scene alone is amazing. I applaud you.
Mélanie Laurent as Shosanna Dreyfus- Mélanie Laurent plays a French woman who’s heart is filled with the need for revenge. Another somewhat simple character with simple goals. But she does quite well, and we are able to feel sympathy as well as hatred for her character. Despite having a simple goal, the story complicates things.
Eli Roth as Sgt. Donny “The Bear Jew” Donowitz- I don’t particularly like Eli Roth, and he isn’t much of an actor. He isn’t bad, and he has a somewhat minor role. It just would have been so great if Adam Sandler had been able to play the role (well, at least we were blessed with funny people). But I think you will agree that there are probably only 1 or 2 things in this world greater than seeing Adam Sandler been the crap out of a Nazi with a baseball bat shouting “Teddy Williams knocks it out of the fucking ballpark!”.
Daniel Bruhl as Fredrick Zoller- Bruhl plays a German war hero who falls in love with Dreyfus. This is a very interesting character (possibly my favorite after Landa). He also has the same sympathy hatred feeling that switches often. Nice.
Til Schweiger as Sgt. Hugo Stiglitz- HUGO STIGLITZ. One of the most badass characters in a movie. I obviously won’t spoil anything for you guys, but my prediction is that Hugo Stiglitz will become like Boba Fett. Everyone’s favorite character despite having about 3 lines of dialogue. There is a scene that is 15 minutes long, and he has one line, but he steals all of the attention with his emotion of awesome stuck to his face. His entire character is so….odd. In fact, I considered writing my character review of Hugo entirely in Wingdings Font. Darth Vader, Rorschach, Gandalf the Grey. They all tremble in fear before the might of Hugo. Congratulations Hugo, you shall become an internet meme very soon.
Diane Kruger as Bridget von Hammersmark- Diane Kruger’s best performance yet (though I haven’t seen a lot with her). She plays a German actress who is a spy for the British government. She doesn’t appear until about an hour and a half into the movie, but she makes her time on screen count. Her character isn’t exactly the most likable, but she does well.
B.J. Novak as Pfc. Smithson “Little Man” Utivich- Good job. I make a special note because I heard an interesting story. Supposedly on set, Tarintino said to the basterds “whoever does the best job of scalping the nazi bodies will have the most screen time. Whoever is worst will have the least.” Novak apparently was quite bad and so being in Germany with nothing to do, he spent hours practicing scalping nazi heads. He ended up with a decent amount of screen time.
OVERALL
This is really late at night, and I couldn’t spoil any plot stuff for you people. But if those two conditions did not occur, you would know how much I love this movie. This movie is amazing. This movie one of the best movies of all time! Inglourious Basterds shall be remembered, maybe not as Tarintino’s masterpiece, but an amazing movie none the less. Quentin Tarintino, you are the most talented director today, as well as one of the best writers, and if Inglourious Basterds is not nominated for best picture….well I won’t be surprised since Dark Knight and Wall-E weren’t nominated last year, but I will still be upset! The Basterds is the must see movie of the summer and I recommend it to children of all ages (having your innocence is overrated any way). Amazing writing, directing and acting, words can not describe. Go see this movie!
Final Rating: 9.5/10